The Rape of A Mind

how did it feel to be raped they asked

It was like watching sand pour slowly thru an hour glass

he blind sighted me with his charm

i never even saw the alarms

I let down mys guard and he binded my arms

I released myself and he let me believe I was safe

then he covered my face

It was even worse than I could imagine

the pain, heartache, the complete panic

He approached so soft I released every thought

he played his game and i became enticed with the false

he deserves an Oscar for the role of the impostor

He positioned himself and waited for me to melt

Then he slowly dug deep until he was inside me

Like a thief in the night he stole my eyesight

He held me down and penetrated me on the ground

How can someone I trust hurt me so much

this rape was uncommon more painful then most

because he used my trust, and against so many pleas

he forced himself upon me. i submitted to relieve the pain

but he didn't rape my body he just played his game

he stole more of me then i wanted him to own

he left me there on the floor soiled from the fight

and all my tears to cry

He raped all of me, all of my mind

MESMERIZED

All that quickly i cant escape the thought

Our bodies locked into each other

his smooth skin and shaven face being traced

by the tip of my fingers and the kisses and conversation linger

His body is mesmerizing

his carmel skin the sweat on his back

the air on my neck the sweetness of his kisses

Built like a carmel god

soft as the damn bear

all I could do was stare

damn i could do him anywhere

happy to serve for this good cause

murdered me and lost two pair of my draws

locked by our legs

and caressed by our hands

cheek to cheek this wasnt just a fuck

this was different and unique

Not only did the King Just loose his throne

But this nigga was like Lancealot and told the King to get Gone

He slayed me with his dragon

that mighty beast

and just when i thought his over he got back on me

I was done with feelings just wanted to fuck

but we talked so much that i started to know too much

So I looked at him in his eye and and thought fuck

i dont wanna like this guy

but i was mesmerized

I dont wanna be his chick

but i wanna lay next to his stick

let him control the vibe and keep me mesmerized

as we awoke after our 3 hour sleep

all i could was watch him dress and walk away from me

and he kissed my cheek

i'll see him monday when i'm in my seat

being mesmerized by his basketball heat

he isnt my boyfriend and understands the deal

but i promise he is my new favorite meal

I was graced by a God

and he truely emerged as that

good looking and on the right track

Mesmerized by his thighs and his thrust

Mesmerized by his physique

and his touch

DEATH OF A FRIENDSHIP

So here it goes

I cant let go

I miss my friend and the truth

I miss talking to you

The goals and dreams

even growing to be better things

being you with me

and me being truely me

I feel like my puppy died

even though I dont have tears to cry

I just want to scream aloud

and throw a tantrum like a spoiled child

We agreed to always be friends

Now because of some insecure Bitch

its like we never began

I didnt want things to happen this way

but that bitch caught me on a drunk day

What was I suppose to say

U were my nigga and fuck the sex

and anyting that happened i dont regret

it was the realest thing and the truth

maybe i am the only one who can see the truth

maybe it is my age and wisdom too

cuz i just cant get over the friend i had in you

I want to talk to u about my new friend

I want to be able to start again

minus the sex and other intimacies

I just want to kick it with my nigga

and do nigga things

how can u go back to something so strong

i dont know

but i'm gone leave this alone

friends no more and tho its sucks

what else is there to do but give up

I guess i was just friends with the wrong one

FOR 23

Big things come in small packages

but who knew that i could create u

From the moment u arrived u didnt even cry

u just looked at me in my eyes

u made sounds but were trying to explain

if only i understood what u were trying to say

u are so smart

and u keep my heart

u are perfect in everyway

i love watching u grow everyday

how did i get so lucky

god blessed me with u

u saved my heart and soul
God saved me with u
even when i'm angry with u
u are my prince
with every arguement u still shine thru
I'm so lucky to have u
and one day when i ready i will give u a sibling
not like u
different of course but never replace u
u are one of a kind
my diamond in the ruff
u are my prince to a king
u are my everything

Reflection of me

So Many Things are running thru my mind
I dont know where to start
Its like a never ending story
When I was weak I was beat
when I left that alone I moved on and returned home
to my security and he mentally abused me
played on the already exsisting insecurities
and then he was goneI got STRONGand made myself move on
Now that i'm not weak
its seems like niggas cant handle me
Cant handle my truth or strength
I wonder if this would be if i was still the weak minded bitch
I've been molested and raped
abandoned, beaten and thru heartbreak
was grown to fast but thats all in my past
i am growing
trying to be better learning life's lessons
and moving on
i dont need a man to complete me
but having a man is entertaining
maybe thats the problem i am not needy or greedy
i can share love with the world
i want a man confident and caring
who can recognize the goodness he has at home
a man who believes in me and what i can be
who wants to help me achieve so that us together can succeed
I am too grown for games
I did that shit back in the day
I am not obsessed with losing weight
happy with what God has gave
I love all of me
I embrace who I amThe BITCH, The MOTHER, The Lover, and The Fighter
when i reflect on me I feel there is nothing higher
Sometimes cocky but always humble
I wasnt always this waybut i woke up one day and decided
I didnt like what i was
So i made a choice to be the best I could be to better meand be proud of all of me

THE EXCEPTION

I am the exception
I don’t think like the rest
My mind travels farther than what u posses

I am the exception
I believe in trust and space
As long as u don’t invade mine we’ll be ok
I’ll always give you ....ur.... space so we’ll be fine

I am the exception
I don’t need u the way they do
I can buy my meals and get where I have to go
I’m resourceful and got my own doe

I am the exception
Cuz I wont pry
I don’t need to go thru yo shit
What type of relationship is this

I am the exception
I don’t need ....ur.... passcode and keys
To feel secure in me

I am the exception
I aint gon pop up at ....ur.... spot
I trust u know what u got

I am the exception
I am truly real
And in the words of Millz
“I don’t know how fake feels”

I am the exception
I will listen to u
And tell u the truth
What u want to hear isn’t my concern
I want u to succeed

I am the exception
I didn’t have my son to keep him home
I had my son cuz with me is where ....Jordan.... belonged

I am the exception
I don’t need a man
I have a child I’m raising to be better than

I am the exception
As a mother I have done great
My son was blessed with me in his fate

I am the exeption
I’m talented in all I do
From fucking u
To the job I go to

I am the exception
I wont myspace or twit
The last time u licked my clit

I am the exception
Cuz I care
Not blinded by love but sometimes end up with a blank stare

I am the exception
I admit my flaws
I don’t blame u for what other did wrong

I am the exception
There is only me
And if u let go
U will look back and think
I had the exception
And that exception was me